Din nou, mai departe... / Again, further on...

We have only one thing to give up: our dominion.
We don’t own the world. We’re not kings here, not gods.
Can we give that up?
Too precious that control? Too tempting being a god?...”

Anthony Hopkins (dr Ethan Powell) - Instinct

De multe ori am vrut si am simtit nevoia sa revin aici. Mi-a fost dor de voi toti, prietenii mei dragi! Din golul din minte insa, rasarea mereu o singura intrebare: “si cum sa reiau?”. Acum am inteles ca nu era nimic de reluat, de reinnodat, doar de continuat... Simplu, firesc , pe cat de fireasca mi-a fost si tacerea. La fel si drumul catre o noua… destinatie intamplatoare, din sirul destinatiilor pe care le-am atins pana-n prezent.

Vãrmaga. Asa se numeste destinatia sau noul punct geografic insemnat pe harta vietii mele. Un sat mic, la poalele Muntilor Metaliferi, in judetul Hunedoara. In sat, o casa construita in anul 1903, marcata de semnele vremii si-al vremurilor traite sub diversi proprietari, ne astepta. Da, ne astepta, caci casa ne-a ales pe noi, nu invers... Impreuna cu ea, un caine, cateva gaini si trei capre. Si draga, nelipsita Norocel. Cu totii prieteni de nadejde in aventura in care ne-am aruncat impreuna si pe care o traim de mai bine de un an si jumatate incoace!

Am muncit mult, ne-am luptat si mai mult. Cu vremea, cu propriile limite, revolte si disperari, cu sistemul care ne dorea si inca ne doreste din nou incartiruiti .
Am trait suparari si bucurii deopotriva, ne-am… domesticit unii pe ceilalti. Caci da, noi oamenii suntem cei ce avem a ne lasa domesticiti mai intai de toate. Fara acest pas esential, relatia dintre noi si prietenii pe care ne bazam si pe care ne sprijinim existenta de zi cu zi, ar ramane o meschina relatie de subordonare –  aceea dintre stapan si supusii sai.
Am intampinat cu entuziasm noi prieteni in viata noastra, i-am petrecut cu tristete pe cei carora le venise timpul de-a pleca. Uneori prea curand, mult mai repede decat eram pregatita sa ne despartim… De la toti am invatat si, sunt sigura, multe sunt cele ce au ramas inca a fi descifrate!

Deocamdata mergem. Mai mult sau mai putin cum mi-am dorit (sau imaginat?), mai usor sau mai greu decat mi-ar placea… Ma bucur insa de libertatea cu gust de apa limpede si rece, cu miros de fan si sanziene, cu soapte de stramosi redescoperiti in frunze de goruni si frasini.

Deocamdata mergem…  Suntem cativa si suntem impreuna. E tot ce conteaza!

So many times I wanted and felt the need to come back here. I’ve missed you so, my dear friends! Out of my mind’s emptiness only one question rose again and again: “how do I start again?”. I realize now there was nothing to start again, to rebind, only to continue… Simple, natural, just as natural as my silence was so far. As natural as the way to a new… random destination, one of the many I’ve reached till now. 
Varmaga. That’s the name of the destination or the new geographic point marked on my life’s map. A small village, nearby Metaliferi Mountains, in Hunedoara county. In this village, a house built in 1903, bearing the marks of time as well as those of the times she lived under various landlords, awaited for us. For yes, she chose us not the other way round… Together with the house, one dog, a few chickens and three goats. And of course, our beloved Norocel. All of them trustful friends in this adventure we threw ourselves into for the last one and a half year!

We worked a lot, we fought even more. With the weather, with our own limits, revolt and despair, with a system that wanted and still wants us quartered.
We had both joys and sorrows; we… tamed each other along the way. For yes, we, humans, are the ones to let ourselves being tamed first of all. In absence of this essential step, the relationship between us and the friends we rely on and with whom we built our very daily existence would be nothing but a mercantile subordinated relationship – that of a master and his servants.
We happily greeted new friends into our lives and sadly said goodbye to those whose time had come. Sometimes too soon, sooner that I was ready to part… I learnt from each and every one of them and I’m certain there’s still a lot to un-riddle!     

So far we’re walking. More or less the way I wanted (or imagined?) easier or harder than I would like… Nonetheless I’m enjoying freedom that tastes of fresh, cold water and smells of hay and bedstraw. The freedom whispered by rediscovered old forefathers out of holms and ashes leaves.

So far we’re walking… We’re just a few but we’re together. And this is all that matters!